Kick-ass!

Hokay. So. Here's the earth. It's chillig. Then-- that is a sweet earth you might say. ROUND! Alright. Ruling out the ice capes melting, meteors becoming crazed into us, the ozone layer leaving and the sun exploding, we are definitely going to blow ourselves up.

Hokay. So basically we've got China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan Russia, The U.K. and us. With nukes. We've got about 26 hundred more than anybody else... whatever. Anyway, one day we decides those Chinese sons of a bitches are goin' down. So we launch a nuke at China. While it's on it's way China's like "Shit Shit, who the fuck is shooting us?" "Oh well, Fire missiles!"

Then France is like "Shit guys! Here come ze misiles, zey are coming! Fire our shit!"
"But I'm le tired!"
"Well, have a nap, ZEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!"

Meanwhile, Australia's down there like "WTF, mate?"

India, Israel and Pakistan launch their shit so now we've got missiles flying everywhere, passing eachother.

Russia's like "AAAAH! MOTHERLAND!"

Then England's like "Bout that time, ay chaps?"
"... Righto."

So now the U.S. is like "Fuck, we're dumbasses."

Canada's like "What's going on, eh?"

Australia's still like "WTF?",

Mars is laughing at us and some huge meteor is like "Well, fuck that."

So now we've got nuclear winter. Everyone's dead, 'cept Australia, and they're still like "WTF?" ... but they'll be dead soon... fucking kangaroos.

But assuming we don't blow ourselves up, us Californians just have to worry 'bout California breaking off from the United States... To go hang with Hawaii... Alaska can come too.

THE END